Astronaut's World

You Love It and Hate It

2010-02-03T21:09:00.002+08:00

You have to love this country and hate it at the same time

After so many years, you still can't teach responsibility and instill pro-activeness with these people.

Sad for them and good for us, at least expatriates still have some value here.

I'm being punished by the lack of efficiency of others.

I love the Motherland...

F1 Weekend

2009-09-27T10:18:00.002+08:00

Newsflash: Astronaut back on the blogs (sic) for F1 Weekend

After a long hiatus, Shanghai-based blogger Astronaut is back.

Back with a style and vengeance never before seen in this part of the blogging world.
An enforced absence, mainly caused by the relentless blockage of the Internet by the G(reat) F(irewall) of C(hina), has left the few followers of his blog with a degree of absence.

During the course of the 6 months away, Astronaut has experienced several life-changing moments. Turning 30 was a big personal milestone for him earlier this month. He also took delivery of an electric orange Ford Focus ST, which has since terrorised several drivers on the roads. Physically, he was sent to study the pandas of Chengdu, and returned with these comments:

Pandas aren't as stupid as they look. When in contact with humans, they only pretend to be stupid, so that we find them all the bamboo that they need. They even rely on humans to breed them, because sex for them is such a chore.

Otherwise, Astronaut is well. Sichuanese food and women has spiced him up a bit, but down right to the core, the heartlander in him is still very much alive. Watch out for him at the Singtel F1 Grand Prix. Somewhere at the Bay Grandstand, you will find him frustrated with the slow moving traffic that takes the time of 1 lap to descend the staircase in front of him, totally destroying his $250 view.

Watch this space!

Tri-partism

2009-05-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

Some thoughts to B2's post..

To have a sustainable relationship, there needs to be a tri-partite (much-like social/political/economic) existence of:

1) Love
where it is unconditional and that kind of instinctive emotional feeling/rush where you are willing to sacrifice even your personal being for the one you 'love' - which is elaborated by the romance factor..

2) Sex
no heterosexual or homosexual relationship can do without sex at some stage of its existence. sex and humping is the animalistic instinct retained in our search for a partner in the traditional sense. it is now confused with pleasure, so men often have more than one relationship with women. the sex drive, i concur, is the single greatest drive and motivating factor in the male species. not so certain of its effect on females though. perhaps it is used as a bargaining tool or protective measure.. hmm

3) Friendship
lovers are often best friends in a way they look out for each other, be each other's soul mate. i think this is the most socially evolved or influenced component of relationships; as described by the attachment factor.

View is that at least 2 of these factors must be co-existing anytime during a relationship, and the intertwining evolves as couples age.

Lion Dancing

2009-02-09T22:48:00.010+08:00

On this 15th Day of the Lunar New Year, I say my warm greetings: "恭喜发财!"

Some things I will try to remember this 牛 year, adding on already, to the burdens of resolutions!

1. No SMOKING [I am a competitive soul, B]

2. No GAMBLING [First time I lose consecutively from 1st day to 15th day]

3. Don't anyhow 'shoot arrow' [according to the 签 email sent by LH], i.e. don't open your mouth unnecessary. 凡是低调!

4. Don't be TOO nice [esp to girls]

That should keep me safe if I do intend to step out of the house at all..

On a side note, some interesting tidbits on 2 Lion Dance troupes up close and personal.

1.

Was at the office last week. Said troupe invited by the building management came to 采青. They went upstairs to sister company. Apparently they couldn't pick the greens successfully and had to switch several guys as the lion head. Finally after some stepping on thighs and up-heaval, they managed to get the greens after like 4 attempts. Damn Loser. When they came down, it was apparent why they were NOT 南仙 Lang Sai Troupe la.. some not as brilliant 南XXX troupe of motley crew of rotund uncles and scrawny young kids... not worth any $688 ang pow. We smart.. we hung the greens with a 10cm string at about 1.5m low height.. even a kid can 采the青lor.. din Huat on the 4D numbers they picked also.. Lousy!

2.

Walked past Amoy Street Food Centre on way to lunch today. There was more lion dancing. This time, I was surprised to see like 4 Melayu Lang Sai practictioners.. not a bad job la.. at least more agile than the earlier mentioned troupe. Damn steady to see them dressed like that. On the way back to office, bumped into their lorry. Steady lagi, all 8 were Melayu.. including driver, drummer, and care-lare-fare girl.. Nowadays Chinese damn lazy, even LION DANCE ALSO OUTSOURCE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR... HUAT AH!

Cow Theory

2009-02-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

Tale for the Year of the Cow/Ox whatever

How AIG went bust...

You have two cows.

John Paulson borrows one cow so he can sell it for $100. He gives you $10 as collateral.

You buy your neighbors cow for $100, which you finance by taking out a $90 loan from the bank and use John's $10 to make up the rest.

You brag to everyone about your financial health. You have assets--two cows you own, plus one Paulson owes you--worth $300, and liabilities of just $100.

A third of the country goes vegetarian.

You thought your two cows were worth $200 and now they are worth $140.

You express confidence in your financial health. Your assets are now worth only $200--your two cows plus the one John owes you--but your liabilities are still only $100. If necessary, you could sell the assets at this distressed price and pay off all your loans.

You hold onto your cows because you are sure the market is "dislocated." Some day someone will want to eat beef again.

The rest of the country goes vegetarian. Your two cows are now worth $2 each to guys who want to make dog food.

John Paulson buys a cow in the market for $2 and he gives it to you as repayment of the loan. You now have three cows worth six bucks.

John wants his $10 back.

The bank calls. It wants its $90 back.

You call the Federal Reserve and ask for a bailout.

Lost And Found

2009-01-10T23:55:00.004+08:00

Once was Lost and now am Found...

Not a good start to 2009...
baggage was lost in transit from HKG to SIN
Checked in 2 pieces of baggage and only got one back on the carousel.
Bag contained 2k SGD worth of shopping
as well as crucially, my work laptop and external hard drive

Acute depression swiftly followed..
24 hours passed without any news of the bag.
7 days on, I received a much welcomed call that the bag has been found.
I'm sure the bag had its fair share of travels around the world!

I am just relieved to get my things back.

In the course of this New Year, reflections rule over resolutions.
2008 has been kind and abundant of wealth, friendships and romance. It did bring along the usual baggage of disappointments and mis-expectations. In my diary of life, I'm sure I would have marked 2008 down in the category of 'Good Years'.

Most important lesson learnt was knowing a little bit better what I want for myself in several aspects of life. Whatever I have lost in 2008, I have found a lot of myself.

On the 2008 balance sheet would look something like:

ASSETS	LIABILITIES
Better Health	Losing Weight
Domestication	Less Social Events
Singlehood	Failed Romances
Returning to Shanghai	Leaving Singapore (again)

A well balanced year is a good year in my books.

Cheers to 2009 my friends!

下雨天

2008-12-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

就让雨下吧
冲走心中的不愉快

最爱下雨天
能在家中静思

偏爱下雨天
沉默带来一种宁静的感觉

怀念下雨天
想到当年和你淋雨生病的一幕

期待下雨天
因为天晴之后会出现一道彩虹

Roots Vol 1: Katong Boy In Exile

2008-11-30T18:21:00.000+08:00

Having a recent bout of nostalgia, thinking about my roots and being able to connect to them.

Was walking around Katong today and had lunch there (more on that later). Both sides of my family history basically revolves around Katong as well. So the walk today triggered even more memories and nostalgic feeling.

During the walk, from Katong Shopping Centre (KSC) to Glory Catering, some observations and reflections:

1. KSC itself has changed over the years (of my life). Back in the 80s and 90s, when I was a young boy, it was a fascinating place where there was a video games arcade, bowling alley, computer games shops and yes, I even bought my first porn VCDs there. My mum even owned a hairdressing salon that she was even robbed before at gunpoint while heavily pregnant with me. Today, it is a misguided place with Internet LAN shops, (numerous maid agencies). Some of the old tenants are still surviving and thankfully those I still have a connection with.

2. The walk down from Katong Odeon. Katong Odeon used to be a small-time Cathay cinema that also held ge-tai style performances where Taiwanese singers like Zhang Di and Feng Fei Fei will perform, before the days of cine-plexes. Being in the entertainment industry, our family also had some business interests there. Today, there is a bank, a cafe and a restaurant on the ground floor, with the anchor tenant being the Cornerstone church.

3. Shophouses along East Coast Road (from Black Canyon to Aston's stretch). There used to be fruit stalls, mama shops, a OUB branch, Glory's old self: Shanghai Restaurant, which served one of the best Peranankan and Malay makan around. The corner kopi-tiam used to house my favourite hor fun. The resident hawker, a person my mum calls 'Barley-High' is still around, looking as energetic peddling char kway teow as he was 10 years ago with fishball bee tai mak (one of the best done dry in Singapore). The original Seh Seng towkwa pow used to be in this kopi-tiam, but have moved diagonally across the road.

4. I bought mee-siam at Glory and couldn't resist buying a few Nyona kueh-kuehs like Pulut Inti, Kuih Serimuka and Pulut Tekan. Went across said towkwa pow new location and had 2 of those yummy delights.

5. Whilst sitting at the coffeeshop enjoying my meal, couldn't help but noticed the chap chai png stall was manned by 2 Mainland Chinese (can just tell by the faces nowadays, without even listening to their accents). There were also several helpers who were visibly from the Mainland. Only the towkwa pow and chicken rice folks were local Singaporean. Then I thought about my walk down the shophouses, where all the laksa joints are. They are now manned by these migrant workers and so are some of the workers at Glory. Glory itself is a delightful mung of chaos, with the Baba owners conversing in Mandarin and Malay to their Mainlanders and Indonesian in great synchrocity.

Which comes to my point of how Katong has changed and evolved over the years.

There is room for both modernization and conservation in this area which I still call my home.

For example, Kim Choo bak chang used to sell only bak chang, having moved out of their little shophouse in Joo Chiat onto the main East Coast Road stretch. Now, they have a restaurant serving Peranakan food.

There was a little shop that sold Peranakan heritage ware, something which I have taken a point of interest lately, due to my quarter Peranakan-ness inspired by the Channel 8 TV series Little Nonya.

Old establishments have taken on new identities, while new establishments have tried a little bit to discover the old, making Katong such an interesting mish-mash of cultures.

I believe in the need to conserve cultural identity. I am not one to object immigration of migrant workers. We are a few generations of migrants all finding our homes in Singapore and therefore we should be more tolerant of new cultures.

However, we need to preserve the traditions and cultures of yore and not lose them to our younger generations. I find it disappointing that less and less of young Singaporeans losing touch with their dialects (not to mention Mandarin even), to a point they can't really relate to their ethnicity.

We are relying on migrant workers even to prepare traditional Singaporean food like popiah and mee siam. Yes, commercialisation is necessary to survive in F&B today, but please have some pride in your 家常菜.

So starting from my next cookout, I will start a new blog detailing recipes passed down from my family, meaning Teochew, Hokkien and Peranakan dishes my parents have taught me to cook so that even if it is lost with my generation, there might be others waiting to discover it in Cyberspace. This is a little bit part I can play to preserve our culture and not watch it die out. It is also a good way to celebrate good food!

Details to follow.

Have a great week and last month of the year ahead!

A fireplace this Christmas

2008-11-24T23:25:00.001+08:00

Funny thing.. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas while back in sunny (and rainy) Singapore

Picture this: Fireplace with burning ember, Christmas jazz playing in the background, little stockings hanging around a mantlepiece, nicely wrapped presents lying besides that cute Christmas tree

Would be nice to cuddle up won't it?

Just a thought :)

Aroha

2008-10-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

and so it happened
amidst the chaotic melodies

a blink of your eye

a blink to mine
a hongi draws us near

2 distances we have in mind

a nudge on your nose

a nudge to mine

a hongi draws us the distance

2 lands we have to bind

The Eternal Optimist

2008-10-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

So the 28 day stay in Singapore comes to an end... not without its fair share of drama.

Let's work backwards...

I arrive at the airport in a frenzy... after driving 3 hours at 150 km/h from KL, with an hour stopover in JB just to satisfy my craving for butter crayfish... and man were those good stuff.. with golden balls of goodness... YUMMY

Nearly missed my flight again. Had to illegal park my car and rush in with my luggage.. miracle that me and my see-hum made in to Shanghai on schedule. B says I'm an Eternal Optimist and I like the sound of that haha.

And that was just to conclude 3 days of

1. unrestrained calorie-laden feasting on char kway teow, MAT (not halal in case you are wondering.. but 'everything also have' 么都有in Canto) kut teh and Madam Kwan's the ONE fried chicken :)
2. lost a couple of hundred ringgit in the Genting casino
3. checking out chantek 马来亚妹 at Mont K'iara after several disappointing letdowns at Sri Hetamas (don't go there again unless you like Black Holes) and Heritage Row
4. nearly getting arrested for being drug addicts
5. driving 2 hours to find Klang bak kut teh to end up having 叶子梅!

All in all.. steady lagi road trip again! Can't wait for us boys to go diving!

This trip back home started off with much anticipation... but 6 September came and went and the Lingering continues (at least for me). The whole self-improvement process in the past 3 months has not done much to suppress the emotional upheavals. Unfortunate things happen and I crave for the opportunity to Fix You. I cannot see but I feel.

Fix You - Cold Play

Honorable mentions of the trip:

1. Watching somebody win $27K on a single hand of straight flush
2. Delightful seafood on Patong beach
3. BH and S's wedding and catching up with the Havokers
4. Diana Krall (although it could be so much better)
5. Catching the F1 fever

K(eep) P(aying) E(RP)

2008-09-21T10:46:00.000+08:00

20 Sep 2008

The full stretch of Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway (KPE) finally opens to traffic.

Like my childhood obsession of getting first day covers, I had the privilege of making my maiden journey on opening day.

Starting from the ECP and negotiating all of the famous speed cameras in the tunnel at a mild 70-75 km/h, the drive was smooth and amazing to see yourself heading out to the north-east in a matter of minutes. When my car emerged from the tunnel, it was the familiar sight of the old Tampines Road that led up to the rubbish dump Lorong Halus. Connecting to TPE, it was a grand total of 20 minutes from the ECP back to home in Pasir Ris... amazing... usually I take 25-30 minutes getting to/from Rochor Road and that is at speeds of 100-120 km/h. One major gripe I have is really driving at 70km/h on a car-less road... it's mental!

The multi-millions spent digging the tunnel did save many precious minutes of my time. But with the 16 ERP gantries along the expressway, God knows how many precious dollars I will have to spend supporting its life. Rumour has it the CTE will be shut in stages to repair tunnel defects. ERP charging will take place when 'congestion' happens. So when all those south-bound traffic get diverted to the KPE... we will definitely Keep Paying ERP lor... not nice :(

Run

2008-09-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

A song of great simplicity.. from a while back

Collective Soul - Run

Are these times contagious
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize I've waited for
Now as the hours passing
There's nothing left here to mature
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run [x2]
Yeah, I run [x2]

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
In this world of purchase
I'm going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run [x2]
Have I got a long way to run [x2]
Yeah, I run [x2]
Have I got a long way to run [x2]
Yeah, I run [x4]
[background:]
Have I got a long way to run [x4]

The Paradigm of Contextuality

2008-09-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Everything happens within a context - things becomes relevant and connected simply because they are in context.

How do we decide what is "right" or "wrong"?

We arrive at a conclusion by forming cognitive relationships and dissolving problems within a context.

Although one might expect decision making to follow a certain logical order, contextuality can be an acceptable explanation to irrational behaviour, simply because this behaviour is in context only to you and not to others. It is relative to you but might not be to others.

So experience can only give us affirmation to whether something is "right" or "wrong" but it is never the "correct" answer.

Very philosophical but true... So make decisions relative to oneself, and affirm it with your own set of beliefs.

Your only enemy is your conscience.

Wrap and roll

2008-09-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

2 turnips

1 cabbage

12 french beans

1 tow kwa

1 stalk of leek

2 bottles of white wine
1 bottle of red white

28 years of life completed

87th day back in Shanghai

So how to address a slightly overdue house-warming?
Wrapped and rolled to delightful goodness.. I present the popiah :)

Thanks for the cakes and wines and laughs!
It was tiring but worth it...

An Olympian feat

2008-08-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

080808 08点08分

世界的注意力集中在中国,各国领袖聚集北京,全球顶尖运动员汇集鸟巢

The opening ceremony was a joy to watch. It embodied the strong desire of the Chinese people to showcase to the world, their 5,000 year history and culture, their musical and artistic achievements, their innovation and technological advancements.

As an ethnic Chinese working and living in China, I am proud to share in a celebration of China's coming on to the world scene, an Olympian feat that no other country should be able to replicate in the foreseeable future.

The plan was simple:

1. Build world-class and state-of-the-art venues (Bird's Nest and the Cube) and litter the capital city with innovative and architectural wonders (CCTV, National Theartre)

2. Razzle and dazzle the world in a 4 hour spectacular showcase of history, technology, arts, admist a political backstage of the world's leaders

3. Unleash a stable of atheletes fueled with nationalistic desire and passion for excellence, hungry for nothing but gold.

Harder than scaling the moon? Li Ning was a favourite sporting son of the post Cultural Revolution era. He had shifted his post-Olympian career in gymnastics to a successful entrepreneurship in sporting wear. Now, he will be forever etched in the memories of millions around the world as the man who lit the Olympic flame in almost melo-dramatic style.

Amongst all the spectacular acts of the opening ceremony, I was most impressed by the sheer audacity of the act. A flying man lighting a cauldron (shaped like a giant torch)? I would never have imagined it possible.

Well done, China! It is indeed a proud moment for all 龙的传人!

Failing better

2008-07-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

A month upon arriving in Shanghai, time for some self reflection.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again.
Fail better.

This Samuel Beckett quote jumped right at me and led me to question the circumstances of my departure and quick return to a city that is defining the end of my 20s.

Some friends had recently asked me how I am finding it back in a city of bright lights and hedonistic distractions. My replies have been a mixture of nonchalance (when I can't be bothered to explain) and philosophical self assessment (when I DO ask myself the same question). The short-term conclusion is that I've tried. Failed to make things happen, so I try again.

2nd time round, I have less to prove to others and more to prove to myself. A payrise and promotion are 1 year professional targets that I have defined and determined to achieve. A healthier and meaningful life, that I owe myself. A relationship that will finally work? That's on an all-time wish list.

If I do a scorecard at the end of 1 month, items 1 and 2 are right on track. I have re-found my motivation in work, despite the early hiccups. Established a rapport with the boss, improved on some processes and embracing more responsibilities.

Working out 3 times a week, eating more sensibly (I do retain some indulgence once a week though). I feel leaner and healthier, even the knee and ankle pain is diminishing.

Item 3 as always, seems depth apparent.

After all, you can only fail better. C'est la vie.

When a nomad finds a home

2008-07-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Cattle feed upon the green grass
Herds are raised
Sandy grains replace the lush
Beyond recovery

Raise the banner
The chieftain said
Time to move on
In search of greener pastures

The tents come down
Horses are saddled
Campfires instead of stoves
Before settlement

When a nomad finds a home
Forever it is not
While the green lasts
A place to call their own

Fool's Gold

2008-06-15T04:58:00.000+08:00

Cranberries - Linger

If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you

Was it just a game to you
But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you

Last Weekend in Singapore

2008-06-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

Recap of the weekend

Friday (after 12pm..sorta switched off from work liao)

found time for a haircut, wash and blow during lunch, arrived back in time for meeting some more... like the new look heh

dinner with my team at 聚宝, value for money... $225 for 7 pax, 8 dishes... sedap!
finally my turn to 埋单 :)
thanks for the memories!

Kung-Fu Panda... wonderfully funny.. a little hope for the chubby underdogs of this world
Woo-shi finger hold... take that!
Thanks to the Steady Lagi faithful for taking time and watching the movie wif me! glad everyone (i hope) enjoyed it! Gonna miss you ppl too...

Saturday

slow rainy day.. got out of bed close to lunchtime
ventured out far west (Boon Lay!) to help a friend with her stuff to Shanghai
hope she solves her visa problems and can finally go!

went up to Markoose's place for my first date with Chloe Lim Kopi-Xi
She warmed up easily enuff, although the short attention span was kinda insulting..
hey gotta respect ur dates, especially the good ones!
BO and JT joined us and Chloe out at West Coast Park, where she proceeded to get herself real dirty and sweaty then dropped a whole coat of fur in my car... eeew
but was a good runout.. dogs are fun when they are not yours :P

went haggling for new running shoes at Queensway
bah... i felt the integrity of these merchants have really gone down the gutter
after many attempts at getting the right price and the right merchandise, decided to cut my losses and go for a cheap pair of Asics at $91 (yes, the cockster refused to give me even a dollar off).. bugger off

dinner with the gang at Alexandra Village... braised duck, BBQ stingray, Sambal Dua Tow, Sambal Kangkong and Hei Zhoh, washed down with soursoup drink... yum yum... gonna miss hawker food loh!

my Steady Lagi buds, they bothered to walk wif me to the revamped Anchorpoint to shop for toiletries and pharmaceuticals at Watsons.... this place shall forever be known as Outlet Point...

went home, decided i couldn't be bothered with Euro and just slept...

Sunday

Mee Pok brunch at Simpang... 2 more months before I indulge again man... :(

Aussino.. bought so much bedding stuff and of cos, overspent again.. but heck la.. settling in allowance lor

NTUC.. buy curry powder... hope Shanghai gonna welcome me with open arms

Dinner at Baba Inn with the family... good Peranakan food to send me off

So.. all my bags are packed and I'm ready to go..
Are you ready to see me outside your door?

Adios amigoes

Sincerely...

I'll Be Your Baby TONIGHT

2008-06-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

Presenting the Steady Lagi buskers.. last sighted at an underpass below you...

Faith can't hurt

2008-05-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

Caught an episode of Grey's Anatomy over the weekend.

Essence of a conversation between Bailey and the Chief caught my attention

Miranda Bailey: Don’t get me wrong, I have faith, I do. Faith isn’t medicine, faith can’t heal you.

Richard Webber: That may be so. But then again, it can’t hurt.

Sometimes we get caught up thinking that having faith means that faith alone can solve the problem at hand, that having faith is the Panacea that cures all ills.

I believe in the more passive nature of faith. That keeping it and believing in it gives you strength to deal with your problems. I.e. faith itself serves no purpose, but knowing how to apply it makes us certain of what we do..

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

My other take of it is summed up by the Chief.. faith sure doesn't hurt you.

So have faith, my friends, but continue working hard to get what you want :)

Tiger Woods

2008-05-06T21:22:00.000+08:00

This will perforate somebody's liver on Friday

Hole	Par	Drink	Location
1	5	Guiness Stout	Timbre @ Arts House
2*	2	Tequila Pop	Harry's Boat Quay
3	3	Bourbon Coke	The Cavern
4*	3	Whisky Green tea	Lighthouse
5*	3	Vodka Cranberry	Bar-Ra-Cuda
6*	4	Glass of red wine	Highlander Bar
7*	2	Flaming Sambuca	Highlander Bar
8	3	2 X Gin Tonic	Fashion Bar
9*	5 / 6*	Hoegaarden	Brussels Sprouts
	30 / 20*

Additional Playoff: 3 Tequila neat shots, 1st to finish wins!

Cheers!

The Blog Of Being Sick

2008-05-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

I'm sick of being sick!
I was talking just a couple weeks ago about the quality of sleep.
It's no fun sleeping for 12-15 hours a day and waking up every so often to go to the bathroom cos you've drank a jerry can full of water or the runs have hit you again.

Arrgh.

I wanna get back to work too. Finish unfinished business.

It's Tuesday night, clear skies (albeit hot) and I'm not playing footy.
Life sucks.

Maybe drinking and smoking less might help.
Nah.. there's Pub Golf on Friday. I should ask for a handicap :P

I'm a heart man

2008-05-03T13:38:00.000+08:00

It sure feels like a bungee jump.
I remember my first.

You feel this deep reluctance to take the leap.
You get encouraged, co-erced and then finally pushed over the edge.
And when you're free-falling, you didn't want it to stop.
You let gravity take over.

The G force becomes your master.
As the speed increases, so does your heart rate.
The rhythmic pounding is the slave to the master.
When your brain finally catches up, you feel the uneasiness of being tugged back.

You hang and then you rebound.

The first tug is like a regurgitation, like a jolt to your senses.
During hangtime, the frames relay themselves.
You recall the last few seconds that seemed like an eternity.

Subsequent tugs adds spin to the equation, like a cockscrew unwinding inside.
You feel helplessly lost in your bearings.
Yet trying valiantly to recover the exhilaration of the moment before.

And then all is still.
But the heart continues pounding, yearning for more.

"I'm not optimistic, I'm not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. And I know. I am a heart man. I take 'em apart. I put 'em together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man."

Let the whole world smile with you

2008-04-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

But when you're cryin'....
you bring on the rain
So stop your frownin'....
be happy again
Cause when you're smilin'....
keep on smilin'
The whole world smiles with you

Louis Armstrong

I've been sharing my joy and laughter with those around me my whole life

I like to entertain the crowd, be the wise-ass joker that brings on the laughter, not minding if I'm the joke itself.

With young children, hearing them crack up from playing peek-a-boo or seeing that little smile back on their tiny faces after a bout of wailing.

With elderly folk, turning on their wrinkled faces and their dentured grins that beam like the setting sun.

Being optimistic has been my way out of a roller-coaster life. It has not been entirely rosy, but I guess I get by and am glad to have what I have today.

Yes, turning tears into smiles, cajoling a disgruntled infant, an angry youth, a worried mother, that's my forte.

With you, the hurt and the tears will take time to erode away.
I have only a genuine persuasion that I hope can conjur an endless lifetime of smiles and laughter to reclaim that empty space in your heart.

Drifter

2008-04-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

"Mad" Mike Whiddet vs Ryuji Miki, both on Mazda RX-7s

Enjoy the drift!

When Will I See Your Face Again?

2008-04-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

Fantastic song by Jamie Scott & The Town

Here I am, everyday, since you said, you'd come again
But it's not fair, 'cause you're not here
I wait in vain but nothing has changed
I'm a flower soaking in the rain
If I could wish one thing, I'd hear you call my name

So when will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you
Will I see your face again
Little things, like the way
She looked at me a certain kind of way
Tell me girl, where are you now
Because I don't know how much longer I can wait
I'm a dreamer waiting for the sun
When you call my name I know my life's begun
Tell me girl

When will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think i love you
Will I see your face again

You know that all my life I've been waiting
Waiting for someone, someone like you to love me
You can't come by like an angel into my life
And then fly away
Fly away

When will I see your face again
I've only seen you once my love
When will you touch my life again
I want to see you twice my love

When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you
When will I see your face again my friend
I think I love you
Love love love you

Idle

2008-04-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

Weekend duties are over

I am left to my own devices for Sunday

Programme for the day:

1. Woke up at 10.30 local time (11.30 SG time.. tan dio 1 hr)
2. Ran (fast jogs with fast walks) 3km in the gym
3. Snack on quarter block of Cadbury's Roasted Almond while watching MTV
4. Hakka food in Cholon (Chinatown)... yummy yong tau foo
5. Movie at Huong Vuong Plaza
6. Still planning what to eat for dinner... fried rice seems appetising
7. Finish Grey's Anatomy Season 3 (can't wait to start on Season 4!)

8. Tyne-Wear Derby Day!
(Highlight of the day)

Tyne-Wear in black & white.. a lot of stripes

Can't wait for this week to end so I can have my well-deserved, near full week of rest next week and for an apparent reason, looking forward to going home too!

Enjoy the week folks.. I'll use it to anticipate the next :)

Sleep: Quantity vs Quality

2008-04-18T09:27:00.000+08:00

How is it you get to sleep 9 hours and wake up feeling the most tired man on this earth?

And yet when you catch a cat nap, you wake up feeling so energised and ready to go?

Case in proof...

1. New mattress arrives Tues, I slept 4 hours on Wed morning, 3.5 hours on Thurs morn (i stupidly got the flight time wrong!), woke up fresh cos it's a 1K+ Simmon's mattress vs. my holey ten-year old 4 Star

2. Caught a cat nap just when plane was taking off.. felt like i've been asleep for a day

3. Slept 9 hours (to catch up on the missing hours of the past few) and woke up this morning feeling like Gulliver in Lilliput this morning

YAWN!

What's UP?

2008-04-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

ACT 1 SCENE 1

What's up?
Erm.. moving soon

Huh? To where leh?
Shanghai loh...

Huh? Again? You not sian ah?
(under my breath)
Basket.. you mean you damn happy rotting in your cubicle?
Er no lah.. good time to go.. Olympic year mah!

ACT 2 SCENE 2

Eh what's up man? Heard you are unhappy and leaving the Company?
Erm no lah.. they moving me to Shanghai soon

Huh? Issit? Thought everyone said you are unhappy
Hmm.. my spin doctoring seemed to work
Not really lah, just don't really like Vietnam as much

Oh... ok... ah you must bring me round Shanghai ah?
(excitedly...not) YEAH! for sure! let me know when you plan to visit!

FINAL ACT FINAL SCENE
(digging your scene)

someone from Shanghai

Hey what's up man? When are you coming over?
Wow news travels fast... somewhen June or July loh

icic.. how long for?
the standard 2 years loh

wah.. where u gonna stay?
dunno man.. you gonna find me a cheap and nice place? :)

hahahas

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance between the characters and persons living or dead is purely coincidental

Steady Lagi!

2008-04-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how strong this colloquial expression, unknown to the Jedi Council up until 2 months ago, can epitomise the strength of the Force and the Council itself.

Amalgamate the expression with the simple action of raising your right hand, pointing skywards in a 45 degree angle while the left hand is placed strategically on the hips, legs width apart.

Taddah.. you have the symbolic greeting of the modern-day Jedi knight.

See positive demostration by Jedi Knight OSL (Picture Left)

The Council has worked its way into being since that fateful KL trip and the simplicity of it all has been the very foundation of its existence. Man Cards, motivational posters, home-cooked dinners, WAGs, golf and badminton, KL trip, Sungei Buloh exploration....

Whether it is a physical or psychological activity, we've been around for each other. It's amazing you find your best buddies through the most amazing of ways.

Steady Lagi and Rock On!

Give me Paddles

2008-02-16T14:31:00.000+08:00

Savage Garden

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump
I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face they day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump
I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Noone to break my fall so please... somebody bring me those damn paddles!

Delicious Mauritius

2008-01-27T14:47:00.000+08:00

delicious mauritius:

pineapple juice, coconut milk, banana, aloe

my favourite smoothie from element fresh... oh gawd how I miss tat.. plus a place that could make a decent sandwich

The New Year has brought in many perspectives:

pineapple juice - tropical, laid back but an oxy-moronic clash of flavours and textures...sweet, sour, acidic and cool, as if testing the limits of your taste buds

travelled further west of india for the first time in 3 years

5 countries in a month is quite a record for both work and play.

working out a fair bit, ran more in a month than i did the whole of last year.

coconut milk - reminds you of mum's cooking, a touch of comfort, homeliness and indulgence.

plenty of shopping, carefree spending, retail therapy.

massages, spas

drinks, cigars(and cigarettes) and clubs

at home watching Grey's Anatomy, cooking a simple meal in my apartment

banana - honesty and deliverance beneath that yellow skin. sappy, sticks to the tongue and doesn't go away

how speaking out against injustice does not equate to universal suffrage

that dancing around half-truths and hiding behind untruths can be a manic affair

how that banana skin can slip you in a vital moment

And finally,

aloe - can't imagine that a thorny, unsightly plant can be such a medicinal delight and source of nutrients

seek the unlikeliest sources to heal our wounds

songs and pictures that make you feel warmer and better

My first month of 2008 is a Delicious Mauritius smoothie. I'm savouring the sweetness, acidity, creaminess, sappiness and its therapeutic juice all at once.

I am hungry for more.

2008-01-01T13:19:00.000+08:00

RESOLUTE
res·o·lute /ˈrɛzəˌlut/
Spelled Pronunciation[rez-uh-loot]
Pronunciation Key –adjective
1. firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion.
2. characterized by firmness and determination, as the temper, spirit, actions, etc.

I have decided to become more resolute for 2008 rather than making nonsense resolutions that I cannot keep.

That meaning:
1. succumb less to temptations
2. be more decisive and firm at work
3. control my temper at home
4. be more determined at finishing tasks, especially with the exercising
5. lead a purpose-driven life, closer to Him

Hey isn't that a list of resolutions in itself?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My Questions (Top 10)

2007-12-13T08:36:00.000+08:00

10. When do you stop searching for something?
9. Why does one turn to smoke and drink?
8. Where do you want to work, live and play?
7. What type of girls would you date? Are they the same type you would marry?
6. How do you know when you've finally cleared the corners of your mind?

5. When do you start looking for something else in your life?
4. Why does one suddenly realise the need to live healthy?
3. Where do you want to stay put and never leave?
2. What kind of women are you with right now?

and my top question...

1. HOW?

writing again soothes the nerves

2007-11-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

In the car yesterday.. yeah, a long 30 (sleepless) hours ago, we discussed..

If I were to have a 'Heroes' power, I would like Matt Parkman's power..
Reading other people's thoughts.

Must be damn insecure lah.. always second-guessing what other people think about me... afraid to know that I'm wrong or someone else is right... damn loser la sometimes

i think i need to read more in order to write. I think i can write well commercially, but I can't blog my ideas in a clean and thoughtful manner... some kind of dread disease

maybe it's cos i'm not reading as much as I used to.. somehow i've become lazy on that. that somehow paralizes my literary abilities... is it the more literature you read, the more you can read into another's mind? 3 good books left to finish... Queen and I (3/4 through), Life of Pi and Vernon God Little..

what's it got to do with reading???

COS i think i know what kind of book i want liao... but i might not be the right reader also.. but fate is cruel almost murderous... wtf... just hoping for a miraculous Christmas this year. It's been years since i've had one. I think have to consult the Boss on this one...

Anyway.. i'm laying off cigs and booze for a week.. this dreaded shanghai flu must leave me.. although it bears the last evidence of my existence there...

Time for the monthly bulletin

2007-08-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

Johnny Hates Jazz - Turn Back The Clock

Another day is ended
And I still can't sleep
Remembering my yesterdays
I begin to weep
If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn't change a single day
I wish that I could turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to a stop
Back to the days when life was so much better
...
Don't let the memories slip away

Lazy Sunday afternoon reminiscing about the past.

July had gone past slowly. A month of change. At the workplace, in another city, another house (albeit my own). Had 2 10 year JC reunions which wasn't as spectacular as I would have hoped but at least there were faces that I have frozen in my memories for the past 10 years.

Shanghai friends have come and gone, with a few more to expect in the month of August. Through them, I have made several new friends that now my social activity revolves around. I am finally exercising, where even painful plantar fasciitis have done little to discouraged me. Drinking less, smoked a grand total of 2 cigarettes for the whole month and just a few kopi-Os.

I still literally dream of the people and activities in Shanghai, especially...
seems really cruel to be put out of a misery only to start feeling miserable! Only that I'm not relying on anything but my own devices to get through.. no alcohol, nicotine or caffeine.. weird ah?

Time to engineer a move back... however, there's just too much to lose now. Practicality over sentiments. I must be resolute. Anyhow, looking forward to October, when I can finally take leave :)

Building People, People Building

2007-07-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

I have not written for 2 weeks due to various reasons..
busy saying goodbyes in Shanghai and packing for home
Snuck in a 5 day trip to HK. A fantastic relaxing break for me just doing minimally and getting enough rest. I didn't even buy anything off a shop shelf.

Today is another milestone for me. Started work at the new workplace, where I'm supposed to build my future. Glad that a China colleague dropped in to share stories, realised reality is never too far away. Hope I do get my chance back at Shanghai again cos it wasn't really enjoyable professionally. 2007 has been such a mixed year that it is so hard to give it a report card. The teacher would probably write: Had his moments, but grades could have done better. Better conduct expected next year. Well-liked by classmates but not exactly the most popular boy around.

Well, I have been generally well-behaved... but as with the rest of my life, I'm not the model student. Flaws are apparent! *shrugs*

Nothing much to write about the new work at the moment, just that I will be a one-man team for much of August and September. Just found out that the 2 girls in my team have already tendered! Expecting up to 2 new colleagues. Well, sometimes a fresh start is good but at the same time challenging. I will be spending some time in HCMC/Hanoi so hopefully friends do visit and keep me company. Not so sure about the nightlife though. Heard all nightspots close at midnight. Time to do more reading and writing I guess.

Bedtime!

I Am Stripped Bare

2007-06-16T12:18:00.000+08:00

Salve!
Friends, Shanghaians, Countrymen

Lend me your ears.

I would like to proclaim you fine citizens of Shanghai, jovial men and women of the merry-making kind, of drink and dance.
I am stripped bare in humility by the essence of Camellia Sinensis (Green Tea) and Alcohol.

I depart this fine land with your fine company and friendships. The classical music of the 80th decade and songs sung in lyrical praise will forever be etched in my memory.

Individual salutations, I will give now:

Shan - Sister, i truly appreciate your efforts despite your tight schedule and incessant work. The party could not have gone on without your brilliant organization and of course, not to mention, excellent door manning skills of the Canis kind. Please thank the other 3 matronas for their attendance!

Debs - For taking over the reins and creating a major disturbance amongst the plebians with the promise of entertainment at the stroke of midnight. Who would have guessed that most of the stripping was to be done by yours truly? One Night in Shanghai... I indeed left behind much emotions!

Lester - You are the orchestrator of such classical masterpieces - Mars and Venus be praised by the lyrical geniuses of Belinda, Rick and other masters of the past eras.

Bolei - What could have done without your artistic capture of such fine memories? Although I very much would like to witness the glorification of these works of art in the Forum, I think it best for the Republic to remain in our private collections (and re-collections)...

Daniel, Qixin, Jason, Hsien Yang, Simon, Shaoqing, Randy and Dean - Brave men of the Republic, citizens of a model nation. My liver cries out at the mention of your names.

Antoine, Ying and Pierre - Your presence was greatly appreciated.. the others in the Legion shall be whipped for not turning up for this Triumph.

Mellissa and Kathryn (pls forward to her) - You were a great audience as well, yours truly would not have been had a more spectacular performance without the constant rouses and cheering

Jeryl, Bryan & Janice (pls forward to them) - My heartfelt gratitude for your presence and gift, hope we old men and women of Shanghai did not give you too much of a scare

Liping, Jon & Joo - I was honoured to partake with you, the excellent meal of hot pot. Wine and merry might not agree with you but nonetheless, I thank your efforts in attending the dinner.

May I be damned on Jupiter's stone if I had missed out on anyone!
The combination of potions on the night made me see closer the stars that never seem to appear in Shanghai.

Till the next, Vade In Pace!

Benius Maximus.
MMVII

Channels

2007-06-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

sneaking some time to blog while waiting for my lunch appointment...

been doing this recruitment recently and a few points that hovered above my thoughts..

mo·ti·va·tion /ˌmoʊtəˈveɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[moh-tuh-vey-shuhn]

–noun

1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; "we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives"
2. the condition of being motivated; "his motivation was at a high level"
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive

we keep using this word in HR that it becomes kind of a cliché ..

anyhows, we were questioning the guy's motivation as usual... why he wants to leave his current job and join us in what can be best described by an 'experimental' role. The functional boss counter-checked whether if I had checked with the guy if he was able to accept not seeing instant results, that what the materials he researches on and sources for today will only be realised in 2-3 years time, when the product is launched in the market.

that night, I thought again the same question and applied it to my own career. so far, i've spent 4 years with this company and will be leaving in 2 weeks time. It has been a cushioned career with the right opportunities, being in the right places at the right time. Somehow, I would like to think that I made the career switch now because of the opportunity that beckoned and that it had nothing to do with the increasing frustrations I've had at work before I tendered..

Well looking back, the work I had begun in Singapore 4 years ago have indeed blossomed into an formless process. I know everything like the back of my hand but yet these are not rules or procedures that you write down on paper. I found it terribly difficult to handover my work to this Chinese lady that has no inkling of the complications of life in a regional office. While going through the organization chart, she yawned so many times and needed 2 coffee breaks! I bitched about it to a close colleague of mine... Oh beware ambitious one... you might have taken the job but I doubt you will survive... or maybe I'm wrong.. the best way to survive here might be to be inefficient so that people have no expectations of you whatsoever...

the cynic in me speaks... we shall see. Right now, i'll just like to focus all my energies in the right places... like saying goodbyes in different ways to my friends in Shanghai and resting my mental energies to look forward to the new work... so exciting... To Russia with love haha

Lunch is more important now haha..

LOST

2007-05-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

Robin Thicke - Lost Without U

I'm lost without u
Can't help myself
How does it feel
2 know that I love u baby

Just finished watching the season finale of S3 of LOST and how satirical to have Robin Thicke's song ringing between my ears the whole time...

the skeletons in the closets of each character have been introduced over the past 3 seasons

how they react to situations that test their resolve and their own self-doubts

how they end up being so 'lost' on the island and their shots at personal redemption..

does that 'lost' feeling come when one takes faithless steps?

perhaps that makes it the more important to put faith into the transitions we make in life.

looking forward to season 4 already..

The Art of Trying Hard

2007-05-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

I am seeking closure to my time in Shanghai.
I look back at 2 years ago, when I chose to stay in the company and reject an excellent opportunity at P&G. The motivation was to eventually be guaranteed a posting to China.
Even though the chance came along half a year earlier then expected, I snapped at the opportunity. Through times of uncertainty and self doubt, I still made it here, expecting to learn alot and contribute to an exciting new time in the company's history.

I do not regret packing my bags and coming and learning so much more about dealing with people, with myself, with people I don't like.... Sure, there were plenty of tough times, especially in the first 6 months. The frequent trips back home, the lack of a strong social support, getting sick ever so often. I came out of it like a phoenix, because I tried really hard and told myself 'I Will Survive'.

This current opportunity came about at just about the right time. I was getting too cosy and needed a new challenge. I have dished out plenty of what I think is good advice to other people, but somehow I find when I'm open for the layup, I don't get the necessary assist from the point guard. Well, sometimes you are your own best advisor.

I'm not just going to try hard... just have faith and the harvest will come.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of
what we do not see

Hebrews 11:1

Save A Little

2007-05-27T13:41:00.000+08:00

This just might hurt a little
Love hurts sometimes when you do it right
Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain
Pleasure is on the other side
Let down your guard just a little
I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine
Hold on to me pretty baby
You will see I can be all you need
If you stay, won't you stay stay
Save room for my love
Save room for a moment to be with me
Save room for my love save a little
Save a little for me
Won’t you save a little
Save a little for me oh

Save Room - John Legend

Just stumbled upon the lyrics of this song today. Never really paid much attention to it before. But hell lotta meaning when I did... I especially like this verse.

The more perfect you want love to be, the more it hurts. So quit being a perfectionist. No over-zealousness. And all you ever need is the right moment..

Ladies... lift your guard (mental not physical), be open to possibilities. We wanna keep you safe each time, not that it makes us anymore 'man' that we already are, but truly because our arms deserve someone to hold on tight to...

So save some room for your loved one today.
There's room between these arms.. it's our hearts